Movie Reviews

I’ve never gone to the movies very much. I have, however, watched lots of them on VHS/DVD. Here, I will post my reviews on many movies I’ve seen. I don’t care if you agree with me. My goal is to intellectually stimulate.

Title
Year of release
Studio
Description
1957
United Artists
12 people decide a deceptively obvious case.
2012
Sony
Two undercover cops infiltrate (and relive) high school.
2014
Warner Bros.
After “only” seven years, they made a sequel.
1994
Warner Bros.
Literally a pet detective.
2012
Sony
A good movie that you’ve already seen.
2014
Sony
The Wall-Crawler meets mediocrity.
2012
Universal
Not the kind of doctor you want an appointment with.
2015
Marvel
Never underestimate the small.
2015
Netflix
Bill Murray stinks up the holidays.
1989
Warner Bros.
The first theatrically released Batman movie.
1992
Warner Bros.
Exactly what the title says.
1995
Warner Bros.
Not necessarily forever, but definitely back for another go.
1997
Warner Bros.
How to kill a series (at least, for a while).
2016
Warner Bros.
Not the train wreck it’s said to be,
but that doesn’ mean it’s great.
2000
Warner Bros.
A John Travolta epic hits with a thud.
2007
Paramount
The mythical champion hits the big screen.
2015
Warner Bros.
Another mob movie. And unoriginally so.
1974
Warner Bros.
An Old Western town gets a black sheriff.
2011
Marvel
He’s been in movies before, but Captain America makes it work this time.
1995
Universal
Back in Las Vegas’ darker days… if such a thing can be believed.
2016
Warner Bros.
Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson team up. Hilarity ensues.
2010
Warner Bros.
The title is all there is to this film.
1992
Paramount
An attempt at an edgy live action/animation combo fails.
2013
Universal
The doll is back and ready to cause more mayhem!
2007
Defiant Empire
A teen movie that is everything people hate about teen movies.
2016
Fox
He may be super, but he sure ain’t a hero.
2016
Netflix
Adam Sandler and Netflix show you how  to not make people laugh.
2005
Newmarket
Adolf Hitler’s last days.
1995
Columbia Pictures
Leslie Nielson and Mel Brooks spoof the Prince of Darkness.
2014
Universal
The origin of dracula. Also, medieval army battles.
1980
Fox.
As the title implies, the Empire gets the upper hand.
2012
Anchor Bay Films
An innocent high school girl’s
descent into madness.
2016
Breaking Glass Pictures
The first rule is, “you may not live to talk about Fight Valley.”
2001
Square Pictures
Why the title? I can’t find the hit game in this movie.
1980-2009
Mostly Paramount
On a Halloween, I review each movie in this series as of 2013.
2013
Warner Bros.
A pure popcorn crime flick.
1990
Warner Bros.
What life is like in the mob.
Marvel
A hilariously dysfunctional group fights evil aliens.
2013
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, MTV Films
Hansel and Gretel as badasses. Amazingly, this concept works.
2014
Paramount, MGM
A braindead action flick featuring The Rock. And I guess Hercules.
1981
Fox
History as told by Mel Brooks. Take that as you will.
2012
New Line Cinema
After all these years, it’s time for the original.
2013
New Line Cinema
Time for the Hobbit/LOTR series’ black sheep.
2014
New Line Cinema
It ends with an action flick. See that as you will.
2011
New Line Cinema
Let’s just hope your boss isn’t like these people.
2012
Lionsgate
Survival of the fittest is taken to its absolute extreme.
2012
Universal
Did you know that FDR was quite the philanderer?
2016
Disney
The 1967 film gets a modern, live-action remake.
1993
Universal
The quintessential dinosaur story.
2014
Kikkatsu
An Asian film takes us into the lives of two brutal murderers.
2005
Universal
It may be a Peter Jackson movie, but it certainly doesn’t live up to the original.
1988
Vestron Pictures
One of those low budget, cookie-cutter horror flicks, but not bad.
2013
TT Animation
What if DC Comics heroes were LEGOs?
2014
Warner Bros.
Believe it or not, a movie based on a toy proves to be very enjoyable.
2000
Trimark Pictures
A leprechaun terrorizes the hood.
2001
New Line Cinema
The first part of the Tolkien trilogy makes its way to the big screen.
2002
New Line Cinema
While Frodo and Sam journey to Mordor, war breaks out elsewhere.
2003
New Line Cinema
This good thing comes to an end.
1998
Touchstone Pictures
What if The Godfather was always falling down and Las Vegas was a confessed con job?
2013
Waner Bros.
Superman gets a reboot.
1966
Sun City Films
A great teaching tool of how not to make a movie.
1995
New Line Cinema
Video game movies take a break from crappiness.
1997
New Line Cinema
Video game movies go right back to crappiness.
1995
Hollywood Pictures
Oliver Stone’s take on the disgraced Prisident.
1922
Film Arts Guild
Back in the days of Charlie Chaplin, there were still horror movies.
1987
Fox
Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. a huge monster.
2010
Summit Entertainment
Another spy action flick.
1966
Hollywood Star Pictures
Possibly the worst movie ever.
1983
Fox
The original trilogy concludes.
1993
Fox
A Mel Brooks spoof of the Prince of Thieves.
1993
Universal
A drama about the Holocaust.
2002
Universal
Put simply, The Rock as Conan.
2010
Universal
A gamer merges artificial and actual reality.
2014
Paramount
The rocky road to the true right to vote, re-visualized.
2013
Syfy Films
Now that it’s been three years, can we now admit that this movie sucks?
2015
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
An aging Daniel Craig is in for more spy action as James Bond.
2002
Sony
The Web-Slinger hits the big screen.
1977
Fox
The introduction to The Force.
1999
Fox
The chronological beginning proves to be polarizing.
2002
Fox
How to turn Star Wars into a dumb action flick (don’t do that, by the way).
2005
Fox
For better or worse, the end of the prequels.
2015
Disney
The first true Star Wars sequel film since 1983.
1984
Warner Bros.
A weak Super-spinoff.
1978
Warner Bros.
The first movie in the Superman series.
1980
Warner Bros.
Three of Superman’s “friends” from his home planet have come to Earth.
1983
Warner Bros.
Superman meets his most dangerous foe: a stand-up comic.
1993
Hollywood Pictures
A crappy sub-genre begins.
2015
Fox
I can only hope that the “it ends now” tagline is accurate.
2014
Paramount
The heroes in a half-shell are produced by… Michael Bay. Oh, crap!
1997
Homemade
Yes, it seems that I’ve chosen to review a fan film.
2010
Magnolia Pictures
Crazed redneck killers, or so they’re misidentified as.
1995
Paramount
Eddie Murphy plays a vampire and catches egg.
2013
Bullet Point Studios
Vampires on campus.
2000
Fox
The mutants enter cinema.
2003
Fox
Humans prove a grave threat to their more evolved cousins.
2006
Fox
The X-trilogy ends badly.
1986
United Artists
A hockey underdog with a conveniently marketable name.
2009
Columbia Pictures
Afraid of zombies? Try laughing at them.

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