Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

bigrigstitleThere are some questions I won’t talk much about on this blog. “Hardest game ever?” The clear and obvious answer is I Wanna Be the Guy. There actually can be an interesting debate if the question is rephrased to “Hardest game ever sold in stores” since I Wanna Be the Guy was not. Because then there are a number of candidates including Ghosts ‘n Goblins, the 3D Ninja Gaidens, and the Dark Souls series.

By the same token, there’s only candidate for the title of worst game ever. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is so bad that it doesn’t even work. It’s pretty much broken and would not have been put on the market if not for the PC gaming industry’s total absence of quality control.

Plot: N/A

Graphics: -3 out of 10

Everything is as flat as a mid-1990s 3D game. This game was made in 2003. It gets better: Vehicles don’t go with the backgrounds and among other oddities, lampposts are completely lit up, not just the bulbs.

All this might have merited a 1, but…

bigrigs1

Yes, grass grows on the road. But disappears in a moment.

Sound: 1 out of 10

I think this is the best part of the game. Why? Other than an engine hum so loud it sounds like a jet there is no sound. Can’t glitch up what you don’t do.

Gameplay: -8 out of 10

So the technical aspects are shit. But gameplay is where it counts the most. Look at Minecraft and Angry Birds. Does Big Rigs also redeem itself here? Hell no! First, the driving controls for this racing game are rather clunky. Steering without letting up on the gas can be tricky. Also, there are only five tracks, one of which doesn’t work. Pick Nightride and the game crashes.

bigrigs2

They can go f*ck themselves!

Speaking of glitches, this game is just full of them. If you try driving into the small buildings littered throughout tracks, you pass through them like they’re not even there. You can’t cross bridges. Instead, you pass through them to descend underneath them, then drive up the opposite structure to get to the other side of the bridge. That’s right, you can climb walls as a truck. Faster than driving on the road, in fact.

And if you climb the hills on the extreme sides of the screen? You’ll discover that you can leave the boundaries of the game. This is where the game goes beyond a waste of money and becomes officially laughable.

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The truck of the future!

Challenge: -10 out of 10

Any game that you can’t lose get’s a -10 in Challenge automatically. Because your opponent never starts his engine. Do you really need anything else? Well, OK.

bigrigs4

A grammatical error in a two-word sentence? Oh… my… God!

Overall: -8 out of 10

Big Rigs is what I would expect from a high school student doodling a free game and uploading it onto the Internet. But no, the box art clearly shows a ESRB rating. So apparently, this was actually sold in stores. I never imagined that the worst game of all time would have actually been released, but there you go.

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