Mario’s World

mariosworldtitle

Yes, the title screen and desktop file give you different titles. It’s good that the programmer (I’m pretty sure it’s one guy) knew what he wanted to call this.

Last week, I reviewed an example of a good homemade piece of entertainment. I now give you a crappy one. Mario’s World looks like the classic Super Mario Bros. In fact, it is the classic Super Mario Bros. All the creator does is change the character models to match a different game so that this game will stay on Google Play.

Now, the fact that it’s the original SMB isn’t, in and of itself, terrible. What is terrible is that this game has terrible controls and glitches out all the time.

Plot: 7 out of 10

Basically, it’s the old plot involving “Mario” rescuing Princess Peach. It could use work, but compared to what? This is mobile gaming I’m talking about. Angry Birds and Plants vs. Zombies don’t exactly have fantastic stories either, do they?

mariosworld1

Yes, our new hero is in his underwear.

Graphics: 7 out of 10

OK, this isn’t this best your phone is capable of, but in reality, it’s not half-bad. Everything is reasonably well-done, although not flashily so. Even the incorporation of character models from another game is done mostly devoid of mistakes.

What would that other game be? Adventure Island. Which, when you think about it, was a Mario knock-off. It had an overweight hero saving his girlfriend from monsters with power-ups. On the other hand, I believe that copycat series brought in dinosaur helpers before Mario, so maybe Nintendo returned the favor.

Sound: 2 out of 10

Here’s where things turn negative. Presumably so the game won’t seem quite so much like a carbon copy, the programmer didn’t leave the music alone. He uses music from the various 2D Mario titles. Usually the worst decisions he can make, too! For example, the music of the water areas of SMB is used for some areas in which you storm Bowser’s castles. It’s just the first sign that minimal work went into this game.

You still turn off the bad guy's bridge to drop him to his death even though this version has wings... oops!

You still turn off the bad guy’s bridge to drop him to his death even though this version has wings… oops!

Gameplay: -8 out of 10

The second sign? The controls. This different-looking Mario handles absolutely horribly! The reason is that they translated the classic SMB controls exactly. Platformers are a fine genre for mobile devices. But if you’re going do it, you should still use these devices’ style of play. Use a multi-directional “pad” like Square Enix’ mobile RPGs. Instead, we have movement arrows spread apart from each other. As a result, you have to move your thumb around awkwardly to change directions. This badly compromises the controls.

Another issue is the ads. I know the ads help independent gaming, but couldn’t they just come in between levels? No, they often interrupt the action.

Speaking of interrupting the action, this game crashes a lot. You start at the beginning of the level you were on every time this happens. I eventually ragequit this game after it crashed on me four times on the same level. Since this guy is profiting from this game by way of ads, he should have placed priority in his game, you know, working.

Hell no, I didn't give this guy money by clicking on these!

Hell no, I didn’t give this guy money by clicking on these!

Challenge: 6 out of 10

Those who were suckered into this game were probably surprised by the difficulty. SMB was back in the days of arcade games being hard to make sure you kept putting in quarters. Of course, the difficulty goes down a lot if you use warp zones to quickly get to World 8.

The familiar fire chains.

The familiar fire chains.

Overall: 1 out of 10

I realize that this is an amateur game, but consistent crashing is racing across the line between “amateur” and “incompetent.” Disgusting.

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