Vamp U

VampUTitleJulie Gonzalo as Chris Keller/Mary Lipinsky
Adam Johnson as Wayne Gretzky (not the hockey player)
Maclain Nelson as Fred Green
Matt Mattson as Tom Slansky

Sometimes you want entertaining rather than excellent. If that is the mood you’re in, Vamp U is the movie for you. It’s a parody of vampires. While not amazing, it’s funny enough to hold you for the allotted time.

We have a vampire so impotent that he can’t grow vampire teeth. This “weak-ass vampire,” Wayne Gretzky, is now posing as a human and teaching history in college. He actually doesn’t seem all that bad, which, funnily enough is implied to be connected to how weak his powers are. Wayne falls for a student named Chris Keller, who looks just like his wife of three hundred years ago, Mary Lipinsky. Wayne dates and turns Chris into a vampire in the hope that they can live together in eternal love. Instead, Chris becomes drunk with power and turns all her fellow sorority girls into vampires. Seeing the mess he has made, Wayne recruits two students to help stop Chris.


The awkwardness of being taught by a vampire. And a screw-up vampire at that.

The acting is below average. Like most movies aimed at teenagers, not much emphasis was placed on this. As a result, most people aren’t that convincing, though Julie Gonzalo as Chris does prove to be the standout performance.

The humor is what makes this movie. Lines like “weak-ass vampire” and one of our “heroes” admitting that he’d probably be short-sightedly horny enough to let one of the vampire girls seduce and turn him into a vampire if he weren’t on a mission are funny. Not exactly witty, but certainly funny.


Weight is no impediment to being a vampire slayer.

Not that this film is excellent or anything like that. While funny, it’s nothing hilarious. Moreover the plot a pretty plain. Not bad or good, just there.

First black vampire. Another barrier down.

Does the first black vampire give us something remarkable about Vamp U? Wait, that was Blade. Never mind.

Vamp U is a popcorn flick. I wouldn’t necessarily buy a copy but it’s worth a rental.

Overall: 6 out of 10


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